Routine

It's weird being a normal person.

Wait, back up.

What I mean is it's weird having a routine. (Any chance at normalcy ran quickly away long ago.) I've been a student all my life. And yeah I guess in grade school it was pretty much routine, which is probably part of why life was so boring. But college. I had no routine in college. Even my class schedule wasn't always consistent. And even though it drove me more than a little crazy, I loved it. I hate routine. It's so boring. I hate doing the same thing over and over again every single day. And that's what I always figured routine was.

Granted, routine is suppose to be very healthy for both my conditions. In fact, it's suggested to keep a routine as having a sporadic lifestyle can lead to an increase in symptoms. ...Which may be why I had so many symptoms at the end of my college career.

Given my aversion to routine, I was a little concerned to start work and have a settled married life. But now that I'm older, and (hopefully) a little more mature, I actually like having a routine. I like having a job to go to that I pretty much know what I'll be doing. What keeps it exciting is I never know quite what will happen and I can't predict the conversations that I'll have. But I do know the gist of what I'll be doing. And I like coming home and checking all my internet profiles and then making dinner. Then do what ever shopping needs to be done, spend some more time on the computer, or lay down in front of the tv or with a book. And then weekends we might do something, or we might just be lazy. I've decided Sunday will be cleaning day. Of course things like dishes are an everyday occurrence. But Sunday is for vacuuming and all the other weekly things. Hopefully soon it will be church day too.

There's something very calming about this routine. And I feel like I have some control over my life, which I have never felt in my 23 years of existence.

Now that I've all bored you with a description of my weekly activities...

One of the first things I have to do is find a doctor and a psychiatrist and -ologist. As soothing as it is to be finally working (how strange that sentence is!) my weekends are still up in the air as to how I'll feel at any given hour. And of course right now I'm feeling fine so I can't imagine what problems I have then. But when those moods strike, they strike hard and fast!